I got sidetracked by Sigil and loading Half Share into it. I forgot all about posting the podcast.
Sorry about that.
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OK, here comes some friendly nitpicking…
I’m just starting the new QS. It’s not important, but one of the first things that caught my eye was an error in the dedication where there isn’t a space between sentences. I’m only just about to start chapter 1, but I can already tell you that I miss the old justification where words were spread evenly to take up the entire line. I used to hate it, but almost every ebook I read now does it and I’ve come to appreciate the style.
Now to stop being a party pooper and actually get to reading. 🙂
Oh man this is bringing back so many memories!
Is it creepy that I hear the audio version in my head and can still remember, in good detail, the cadence, character accents, and exactly when the music would chime in? 😀
“there isn’t a space between sentences”…?
and that justification setting is device dependent. Isn’t it?
In the dedication it says “For 27 years she put up with my wanting to be a writer.For the past 3…” without a space between those sentences.
If there is a setting for justification on my kindle keyboard I don’t know about it. Most other things I read just have it that way by default.
I’m up to chapter 6 and have found a few other oddities:
Cookie says “Do whatever you must to make me coffee to die fo,.”
and the Lois is still described as 20km long. I know I heard you talk about wanting to fix that.
“At the far end of the main spine, a small white light, twenty kilometers out, marked the stern post.”
I’d just like to add that these aren’t complaints, just want to help you put the best product out there that you can the next time you do an update.
Drat. If I’d looked before I posted that *last* update, I could have put them all in the same file 😕
Oh well.
Anybody else find errors?
Nathan, a few. Want them here or on the solar clipper site or via email?
Biggest issue I’ve found is a formatting issue, already posted on the solarclipper.com.
edits here are fine.
I’ve *finally* found the stupidly simple fix for the italics issue. I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to find it. :/
I’m putting a new version in the queue now, but any new edits? I’ll get a new file ready for this afternoon. :))
Love, love, love the cover!
Hey, at least you walked. Being a little late with posting it is a minor “ooops.” We’ll wait. Glad you are feeling well enough to walk at all. Obviously a vast improvement.
Nathan,
Glad to have been able to help with figuring out the italics issue. Sounds like you were searching for a fire extinguisher/sensor impact issue… 🙂
Here’s what I’ve noted so far (though I’m only up to chapter 11 at this point). All suggestions are noted by Kindle location.
409 of 4214: Cookie speaking to Ish, “do whatever you must to make me coffee to die fo,.” The comma should be an “r” I suspect.
504: Long standing issue. In describing the bridge during Ish’s first visit, a doorway is detailed at the back of the bridge, revealing a small conference room. Yet, at multiple points in the books, there is also discussion of various people looking aft through the bridge ports. Suggest you might change this to having the door off to the side of the bridge or some such.
515: Ish is looking out the aft ports and sees the Louis stretching out into the “star spackled Deep Dark.” Unless the stars were created with a putty knife, I suspect you want to say “speckled.”
515: The already-noted description of the Louis as being twenty kilometers long.
574: In preparing the wraps for the bento boxes, the math seems odd. “Forty-five crew needed a hundred and twenty of these little buggers.” Further on, when they assemble the boxes, it’s two rolls per box. So shouldn’t forty-five crew need ninety of the little buggers?
617: During discussion of the pull-back, the 1MC announcement is that tugs will cast off in “three zero ticks, mark.” Then, five paragraphs later, it’s “Over the next three stans the speakers gave periodic status reports until finally all tugs released us…” Either the announcement should be “three zero stans” or the status reports should be thirty ticks.
Various locations: In multiple announcements, it is stated that a specific watch section has the “conn.” Having the conn means having command, and is generally used as a statement of a single individual in authority. (E.g., Mr. Wang has the conn.) Suggest that you mean to say the section has the “watch” or “duty.”
2019: Ish is considering what to do with his life while prepping for dinner. “My problem was I did’t think…” Suspect you want an “n” in “didn’t”…
1045: Sandy is telling Ish about how the testing system works. “Every quarter, the Training Officer administers the exams and, if you pass he adds…” Suggest a comma after “pass.”
1045: Two paragraphs further along, Sandy is laughing “I suppose it it, but as a system, it seems to work.” The second comma may be extraneous.
1235: Brill is welcoming Ish to environmental. “She grinned. “No, sar, for me, Ish. I’m no more officer than Cookie.” Perhaps a little wordsmithing? “She grinned. “No “Sar” for me, Ish. I’m no more an officer than Cookie.” Or, “sar” in italics? (Now that you’ve got those fixed…)
If you’d like, I’ll send along anything else as I find it for future reference. I love this series and any way I can help you polish it is a delight. Just think of me as a little bit of Brasso… I’m sure you remember that stuff… :0
Unsure who’s typo, but:
1045: Two paragraphs further along, Sandy is laughing “I suppose it it, but as a system, it seems to work.” The second comma may be extraneous.
The doubled “it” in the first clause of the quote is bad – “it is”, I think?
Hopefully, I end up with a bit of money, and can buy what I am behind on…
the conference room is between the ports but it’s also an extraneous detail. I planned to use that room and never did. I’ll pull the sentence.
I actually meant that to be “spackled.” The universe in the deep dark is hardly dark but almost covered with star but so many people have taken exception to that spelling that I’ll bow to the inevitable and change it. it’s obviously not working the way it is.
bento box math. a portion of the crew is heavy-worlder and get multiple boxes. they also make extra. straight multiplication won’t work.
You’re right on the commas on “sar” but the “no more officer than Cookie” phrase .. you’re not the first to insert the “an” there. So many people think it’s a typo, I’ll add it.
And thanks! I appreciate all this detail. Some of this stuff was supposed to be fixed. Some of it is new. I had so many versions of the file that it’s not surprising that some of the “fixed” errors resurfaced–or that I’ve introduced new ones.
Ahhh, for the days of VAX VMS, where the OS kept track of versions of files, and just assumed you wanted the latest, unless you specified. Ate up a fair bit of quota, and right after you cleaned up, you ended up needing one of the old versions you just deleted, but … the old versions did help a lot.
Watching the file be edited as you played back a crash log was pretty neat, too. I sometimes crashed files just to watch the playback.
“Ahhh, for the days of VAX VMS,” My jaw dropped after I was hired at my current position in 2006 and discovered our main system for registration and purchasing is old VAX/VMS adapted for windows. It was an OMG moment 🙁 ….. I felt like running away screaming. Six years entering and coding Command Language I will never forget, and thought I would never see again. I can’t believe it is still alive. Apparently very old programs a very very cheap now. It’s 2012 and we are still using it. Looks like the 1994 version. This was before the phrase “User Friendly” was common sense.
Tara, you too?
The first few years the VAX VMS was the main networked computing resource on my campus, then they added the dorm ethernet…
Happy to help, Nathan. The bento math makes sense with that detail – and it supports the extra food point in CS.
Do you have any idea how I update to the revised version on Kindle, once it is released?
Tara – typos breed… But the second “it” should have been an “is.” My bad!
I believe you will need to go into your account on amazon and go into the Manage My Kindle section, then find Quarter Share and tell it to send the new version to your kindle. (not sure if you need to delete it from your device beforehand)
Tony has the right of it. It’s apparently not as straightforward as we’d like.
When I get the final edits back from you eager readers, I’ll send them a note saying “Updated version is ready” which will trigger a process to facilitate your “Manage my Kindle” experience.
OK, I’ve just finished and have found a few more things that need fixing. 🙂
It appears that at some point you did a find and replace of “buy in” with “grav pallet.” Not sure how that happened. “Buy-in” is still there when they discuss the co-op, but I’ve found these two places where “buy in” got switched:
“I’m trying to find something we can grav pallet Gugara for the inbound run.”
“Okay I see three ways: dues, grav pallet, or fees.”
and these other things…
“The run into Darbat Orbital wasn’t terribly different then leaving Neris.”
Then should be than.
“Maurice occasionally stopped by the table to check up on us, but he never once made us feel unwelcome or that, we should move on.”
The second comma seems unnecessary.
“Finally, after we finished off our coffees, and a second round of desserts, we settled up and sauntered out onto level six.”
Again, second comma seems unneeded.
“The booths consisted of everything from prefab units with pseudo-walls and glazed displays, to a couple with stack upon stack of storage cubes, to a few people who had simply spread blankets on the desk and laid out hand crafted jewelry or clothing items.”
This might be just fine and it certainly sounds nice, but I just have to wonder what type of people would favor blankets on the ground over paying 1 cred to rent a table. Just sayin.
“Ship and orbital time was almost in sync hear, and even at this early hour the place was crawling with people.”
Was should be were.
“When we got back to berthing, I changed into a fresh shipsuit and hung the belts in my locker along with my civvies.”
This was before they got belt buckles so how did he hang up 8 belts? I could see maybe looping a few over a hook, maybe, but when I stopped to actually think about this it seemed impractical. Not sure if it’s worth changing.
“Pip shrugged. “True, but we already have a lot riding on this leg, our belts, the extra stores, if there was also a container that I picked. Man, that’s a lot for one lowly attendant to take responsibility for.””
Pip’s first sentence there doesn’t really have an end. I don’t know if his second should somehow be combined with it or what.
That’s all. I thoroughly enjoyed Quarter Share once again and can’t wait for Half Share! I swear I’m going to still be enjoying this stuff when in another 20 years for the 100th time. 😀
Good morning, Nathan.
Here’s a second set. Apologies for the slow speed; I promise I’ll finish up by tomorrow!
1411 of 4214: In describing people coming and going on the mess deck, “A couple of the engineering standers…” Believe that should be “watch standers.”
1687: In Pip’s description of Margary, “High demand goods include quality foodstuffs, particularly frozen fish and canned vegetables since none of the direct jumps to Margary led to…” Believe the tense is wrong, and that should be “lead.”
Various: As noted elsewhere, “grav pallet” seems to have replaced “buy in.” With some amusing results… such as at 1698, where Pip gets to say he’s going to grav pallet Gugara. Wow, those grav pallets can really handle a load!
1793: Ish and Pip are getting ready to exercise. “We changed up and I headed to the track…” The “up” is unnecessary.
2125: Heading into the restaurant, “… into a restaurant named, Beef and Brew.” The comma bugs me. Should the restaurant name be italics? In quotes? May be technically correct English, but something catches my attention every time I see it.
Same paragraph, next sentence: “The manager, a portly man with a florid complexion greeted us.” Needs a comma after “complexion” to say that the man who had a florid complexion greeted them, instead of his complexion doing so…
Remember: Punctuation kills: “Let’s eat, Grandma” vs. “Let’s eat Grandma.”
2159: Still in the restaurant, “Maurice occasionally stopped by the table to check up on us, but he never once made us feel unwelcome or that, we…” The comma after “that” isn’t necessary.
2423: Discussing the relative merits of berths. Diane says “Well, I like the Louis…” Her statement lacks an opening quotation mark.
2507: Stylistic thing, but where Pip is talking about all the responsibilities a little wordsmithing might enhance the flow: “Pip shrugged. “True, but we already have a lot riding on this leg. Our belts, the extra stores. If there was also a container I picked…”
4212: In the description of jump points, there’s a run-on sentence. “Normally, and orbital holds a geostationary orbit over a habitable planet, which means there is a long transit time between it and the jump point, twenty to thirty days was not uncommon.” I’d recommend breaking this into two sentences, “”Normally, and orbital holds a geostationary orbit over a habitable planet, which means there is a long transit time between it and the jump point. Twenty to thirty days was not uncommon.”
2851: Bev asks Ish what he’s doing, in the booth. “Watcha you doing?” The you isn’t necessary.
3109: Ish is looking up the history of the Louis. “Sure enough, I found an entry on the history from the ship’s origin.” Seems a bit cumbersome. Maybe, “Sure enough, I found an entry on the ship’s history.”
3130: Pip and Ish are talking about the banner. “It’s probably been sitting around in storage for the last, I don’t know how long…” The comma is unnecessary.
3166: Ish decides to go to environmental, “I decided after lunch, I would…” The comma is unnecessary.
Nathan,
I believe the grav pallets got loose and caused mayhem in your galleys!
Anyway, here are the rest of the things I’ve noted. Hope this helps, and thanks, again, for the great story. Now on to Half Share!
3275 of 4214: Ish is explaining to Francis that no money is necessary yet, “The captain actually paid the rental from ship’s funds and paid back the ship.” Should there be a “we” in front of “paid back,” so it doesn’t say the captain paid the ship back?
3314: Bev woke Pip and Ish up at 0600. Bev and Ish are making plans for the day. Bev says, “Sure, but I’ve been up since midnight.” Aren’t in port watches 12 hours?
3373: Diane, Pip and Ish are discussing the coop organization. Ish suggest a “grav pallet? Grav needs to be capitalized.
Same location, three paragraphs further, yet another sneaky “grav pallet’ where a “buy-in” should be.
3397: Ish just asked Diane about mushroom farming. “Do you know what the phrase smooth change of subject means?” Should “smooth change of subject” be in quotes or italics?
3470: Cameron is showing Ish and Diane the mushroom growing operation. “Cameron pointed to where a small diameter tube stuck each log before being clipped onto an overhead track…” As written, it says the small diameter tube is clipped to the overhead track… probably not the intent. Perhaps “Cameron pointed to where a small diameter pipe stuck each log before the large tube was clipped onto an overhead track…” Or “growth medium,” to use a previous term.
3588: Bev has just asked Ish to show her the belt. Ish realizes he’s painted himself into a corner and tried to change the subject. Bev responds, “She chuckled.” Why? She doesn’t yet know that he’s boxed himself into something embarrassing.
3874: Mr. Cotton is telling the captain they have a spare/old grav pallet. “But… we do, have one that is…” The comma is unnecessary and breaks the sentence flow.
4046: Discussing the grav pallet: “We’d have to stow it with the rest when transporting but that was only to be expected.” “Transporting” doesn’t really work here – perhaps “under way”?
4056: Ish is recalling how the coop started. “What had started with the innocent concept of let’s rent a booth…” Shouldn’t “let’s rent a booth” be in quotes, or italics?
4078: Pip and Ish are discussing the standard coop rental configuration with Mr. Maxwell. “I nodded and Pip answered, “Yes, sar, We have…” Either there should be a period after “sar” or “We” shouldn’t be capitalized.
4086: Ish is convincing Cookie to go out to dinner. “I can solo one dinner service especially on a first night in port.” Believe it needs a comma after “service.”
126.7/467 (Calibre E-book Viewer):
=====
We both laughed and Sarah looked uncertain, but she did not flinch.
cleanup only took a few ticks and we headed back to berthing. “Sarah, you lead. That way you can make sure you know the way,” I told her encouragingly.”
=====
I’m not sure if that should be two paragraphs, or just one – but I’m fairly certain cleanup should be capitalized.
148.5/467
=====
“You’ve got a good eye, Ish. Pip can run the numbers until the bovines return to the barn, but you have the eye. You’ll always pick better than him. You two make an amazing team, though.”
=====
I’m not sure about the prognostication in this – I would have more likely said, or had Brill say, “You’ve always picked better than him.” Still – probably just a matter of taste, I think.
=====
I’m not the greatest of proofreaders, most of the time, as I get too involved in the story.
I’ve got the my first batch of stuff from Half Share, but I’m only about 30% done with it.
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I’m not sure what you did different between QS and HS, but HS automatically spaces out the words to fill the line like QS didn’t.
—-
There are mumerous uses of “cargo man” in place of “cargoman”.
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It seems like you’re trying to only use contractions only during dialogue, but I noticed a few that were in description. Sorry, I didn’t note them down.
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“cleanup only took a few ticks and we headed back to berthing.”
“cleanup” is the beginning of the sentence, but not capitalized.
—-
“I think we need to give her room and learn to trust us.”
“and learn” doesn’t sound right. Maybe a “let her” should be added?
—
“She might have a cracked rib on the right, and she’s favoring her left arm.”
Should probably add in “side” after right.
—
“Hearing Sarah’s voice from the galley I found it difficult to concentrate on the tablet.”
Missing comma after galley.
—
“I glanced up at the chrono and realize that there was still half a stan before the mess officially opened…”
“realized” should be realized.
—
“Bev pointed out the various systems.”
Should say Brill.
—
“Bev pointed out the displays to the left and right of the center.”
Should say Brill.
—
“For the next half stan, she explained the watch stander’s console and answered questions about my job.”
Unnecessary comma.
—
“I don’t know if he was just going along, or if he was actually getting pointers.”
Unnecessary comma.
—
I probably won’t be able to finish the book today, but I’ll keep chugging along and posting here with things I find.
Just finished Half Share. Here’s the rest of what I found.
—
“Francis, you’ve got the duty, and Ish is your helper,” Bev said.
Should be Brill, not Bev.
—
“We have to close off the intake valves first,” Francis began and then walked me through the whole shutdown process.
Needs a comma after began.
—
It was five hundred and twenty-eight meters long and had eight airtight hatches along the way.
I’m not sure if this the right length for the Lois or not. I thought I remembered a diagram showing it being 200 and some meters…
—
“Oh, that put transition in a whole new light for me. I’m glad I didn’t know that all this time.”
In the book this is in quotations, but I’m pretty sure Ishmael is supposed to only be thinking it, not speaking.
—
Perhaps, it’s just a lovely momento from comebody who cares for you.
Unnecessary comma.
—
She’s still not quite not quite in the same plane of existence with us, sometimes, but everybody is really good with her and many actually wait for her.
First comma is not needed.
—
cleanup done already?
Cleanup is the first word in a sentence and needs capitalized.
—
Bring on Full Share! 😀